Viscous Lidocaine

Jesus, making families miserable?

By not treating women in any fashion they deserve, doctors calling Jesus "lord" are fucking over the oath to do no harm.

women do not all ovulate at the full moon, so "natural family planning" or rhythm methoding is ridiculously outmoded.

"We're trying to get doctors to see that contraception is not good medical practice," said Steve Koob, who runs the One More Soul site *website removed so i can hold on to my morals* "Natural family planning for couples that need to space their children is as effective, and it builds a marriage."

Let's discuss this is context of my marriage and my inability to carry.   My husband and I are both bipolars with benefits.  He has mild Asperger's and I have Adhd.  furthermore, I am ridden with a shitload of other medical issues.   For instance, PCOS (which would provide me with all the miscarriages I could wish for), a brain tumor, high blood pressure, hypothyroid.  some of these are bad for babycreation,  but let's just take the bipolar disorder aspect, which never gets enough attention from anyone.

the Otherh and I are both extreme cases of bipolar.   Without medication,  I am nearly continually suicidal, which would be the case if  I were to carry a child.   I hallucinate wildly, my moods fluctuate, I plan to run away to Ibiza and work on said plans. 
    How does this build a marriage, I would like to find out.

Doctors who swear an Oath to One Soul or Jesus rather than Hippocrates, as is the practice in our greatish land, should have different degrees than an MD.   and they should certainly be barred from practicing as OBGYNs. 

If I have an ObGyn tell me it is time to conceive, etc, I will happily strike him or her in the face with my stirrupped foot.    It is unreasonable for me to procreate, whether or not I'd actually want to, and it would be even worse for me to do so for the purposes of population over my own actual well being. 

why ken starr took this case

Bong hits 4 Jesus. 

Starr, of the Los Angeles-based firm Kirkland & Ellis, took the case pro bono.

skinny men

i just saw an ad featuring silhouettes of a couple dancing on a rooftop, seemingly celebrating the fact they get a mortgage.  the thing about this, is the guy is super slim, with no redeeming belly, and the woman is round, with belly, ass, thighs and yes breasts to match.

this is encouraging.  it means that what society thinks of as a "fat" woman can get a mortgage, right?  or a partner with whom to dance?  could it be this marks the end of the beer-bellied husband in sitcoms who has the ueber skinny, long haired, flawlessly skinned wife?  (see: raymond, that show with jim belushi, others.)  could it mean that women get to look like-- dare i say it??-- women?  (and not poles, not 12 yos?)

it's an ad, om.  dream on.

i have pictures of real women all over my house/computers, portraits from the renaissance to the belle epoque.  after that, skinny was good, tapeworms encouraged and fen-phen a reasonable use. 

coming to grips with a body that is not societally chic sucks ass.  i am not fat, but neither am i teri hatcher, bragging about her size zero.   for women like me, in between the girls and the plus, there is a dire lack of fashion.  i am considering going all-punk all the time and wearing dickies and tshirts but the wigs don't really go with that. 

the fact is, i like my body.  i like having curves, and it's a long haul to get to this place where "liking my body" doesn't mean abusing it with disorderly eating, dieting, exercising and similar.  i can keep dinner down, i eat four meals a day, i still do the yoga and i don't need to see my bones to know that i can be as hot as the skinny girl i was pre-adulthood (and by that i mean maturity.)

dove has a campaign, roundly criticised, for "real beauty", which makes the size 12 the end-all of big ness.  of course you can be old with wrinkles, but god forbid you're wearing a thong at the time.  for this reason, i don't like dove.  soap does not provide me with any markedly reasonable weight-loss/gain initiative.  nor does underarm deodorant. 

Post Office

to get to my new post office, you'd need a 4x because the road to it doesn't have any pavement.    quaint place.

a stupid thing to say at the time...

Chicago Tribune:

Paul Salopek, a two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning foreign correspondent for the Chicago Tribune, was charged with espionage and two other criminal counts in a Sudanese court Saturday, three weeks after he was detained by pro-government forces in the war-torn province of Darfur.
Salopek, 44, who was on a freelance assignment for National Geographic magazine, was arrested with two Chadian nationals, his interpreter and driver. If convicted, they could be imprisoned for years.

Being a reporter in the Never An Adjective Bad Enough to Describe it Darfur Region would likely be difficult.  however, Christopher Shays, congressman, R-Conn, visited the imprisioned Tribune/Nat Geo correspondent and had this to say because of Salopek's supposedly visa-less status:

"Paul did a very foolish thing coming into the country without a visa and he knows that," Shays said in an interview Saturday. " . . . He knew he made a mistake. But it's not in anybody's interest--in their or our governments--to have this blown out of proportion..."

Uh.  immigration legislation important to this guy despite a citizen being charged with espionage?  This is a frankly ridiculous statement.  What about diplomacy like:  "He is not a spy and we want him back, damn your eyes."

Salopek, who has extensive experience reporting from Africa, had been traveling in Chad, near the Sudanese border. When arrested, Salopek was carrying two U.S. passports--a legal practice, common among journalists and other frequent travelers who require multiple visas--and satellite maps of the conflict zone in Darfur, printed from public Web sites. According to sources, Sudanese officials view the passports and maps as evidence of espionage.

i'm increasingly glad i write from computer in a coffee shop or my own office  wearing wigs and big glasses.  I wouldn't want my spouse to assume i was in the throes of communism or something.   

Newsweek comes to the dark side

The solution: universal health insurance

of course, that's not really what they're saying, i don't think, but they say that.   Bankruptcy, debt, and overwhelm are plaguing the medical system.  in an age where socialism cannot be a nasty word any more, as the US faces allies daily which are both socialist and democratic in nature, it cannot continue to weaken its dwindling middle class with burdensome, inadequate health care.

We discussed this morning that history has no mandate (Heidegger, contributions.)  thus it would follow the way to reform is not staring blankly at the past and hoping for the lessons to reveal themselves suddenly, but instead go about reform in a socially conscious manner, forcing change revolting if necessary because of the eternal present, not the things that the then has to say, which is, "this did happen, but it means nothing else."

For exampe, we cannot take history as a lesson-giver inasmuch as something as mundane as "war was in the past good for the economy of the U.S., thus and so it means it will be again."   we see now this is not the case, do we not? 

Because if americans have to be told that eating cake is the option, socialism will undoubtedly be the result.  so why not universalise the most basic of necessities to americans?   economically, is this the straw breaking hte camel's back?

recently i had a migraine which required serious attention, as i am in possession of a brain tumour.  the wait at my pauper's insurance emerge room was "around 30 hours".  that's more than a day of sitting in a shitty chair waiting for someone to tell me to take three extra tylenol because they didn't know me well enough for stronger meds.   so i said screw it and lived with it til i could see my pcp.

someone gripes at me, "it's because of the illegals that that happened" but i wouldn't guess by the ethnic make up of the triage, or by the fact that everyone there was on pauper's insurance which i knew required a passport in order to qualify.  they were just broke.  poor.  underpaid, paid by walmart, working at jobs with no coverage.  and they were sick too, but only one hospital in the county would see them.   

someone tell me why socialised/universal health care is not in the interest of an america that cares, that has a big fuzzy warm heart for its citizens.  i do not want to go to war over this, but i would.  this i would. 

navel gazing

ok
so you know where we're going and why. 
so i've spent like 6 posts talking about it.

i watched news today and it royally sucked.   the lead story had to do with tom cruise.   like i care.   

i got keys to my new house which was nice.   

i'm intending on packign the house and moving in the next week, so i'm going to be more out of the loop than ever, but soon, soon, soon, i will return to my daily perusal of arts and letters daily  with the hope of finding out what in tarnation is going on on the planet.

it really is the dog days of august, and i can't barely wait for a month from now when the winds pick up and the weather cools off. 

catch up

in a week i will be in nowherevill, TX, population 1200.  i hope this will bring greater focus to my life as a wandering, market-trawling housefrau who reads the news despite the partner's best efforts to convince her that otherwise would be better, who walks a dog that hates going on walks, who weeds lawns with no possible hope of  staying weed-ed, and who cooks up a storm, despite the weather.  oh and who lives with her mother.  again.

also, i have been no-so-hard at work trying to formulate a grant proposal for the start up (of which i don't much write),   but have been battling a really nasty depression since the loss of my friend to suicide.   I think finally the clouds are lifting, but i have flirted with going inpatient so I was safe more than once.  yoga is back on the schedule, which always helps, and my outlook seems a lot better in the "yes i can" department.

grief is an odd thing.  losing my lovely the way i did made me so unbearably sad that certain colours made me cry, reminding me of her.    at one point this week i hit "very angry" and told another friend all about how pissed off i was that she left so many things undone for so many other people to deal with, and that just wasn't like her at all.  other friend, unbeknownst to me, was dealing with same stage of agony because one of *her* nearest and dearest had done the same thing the week before.    i think it was a time in my life i could actually palpably feel support existing between two people that way. 

no one loves anyone the same.  we each express and manifest our love for another in different ways.  my love for she who is no more was far different than my love for the Otherh.  and they both knew and respected that.  it makes simple sense.  She didn't place unreasonable expectations on me insofar as that i leave the otherh, she understood that i could be, in a way, two places at once.  but i did expect her to stay the fuck alive.  and i think this is what i felt from the Otherh these past few weeks, him standing kind of off to the side wondering "what can i do, baby?" 

award

the award for page of the day is!

Split between Gultureghost and Mithras for best blogs i've revistied since a m onth long absence and whle brekfasting on screwdrivers

there's a truce?

and apparently it looks like a discussion going on like this:

image from washingtonironypost.com

i can't deal with the news, i'm just too far blitzed with my own invisible war of oh, crap where will all this money come from. 

so we can move into this:

a little house across from bloodyfuckingnowhere, tx.

well, it isnt that little.

which means YAY we passed the credit check (how in the world??)

i've been trying to write a grant but my body keeps reminding me that it's falling apart.  tomorrow i go talk to an md about tumor relief and migraine prophylactics.  sounds fun, doesn't it?  i don't really mean to be ueber american with the staring-at-the-end-of-my-nose-like-its-all- there-is-in-the-world but i hate war, as much as i like reading about it, in this day and age it's just not accurate. 

Sure does take yer eyes of that whole Iraq business though, don't it, that israel/palestinian thing??  and you realize Congo had an election? 

i of course, only know gastric ulcer and broth.  oh and new: balding!