Viscous Lidocaine

colbert report

i want to be the ambassador from weedville!

last day for a week

so.  i leave tomorrow for part (godknowswhat) of my adventuresome gypsy life.  each time i move i get rid of more things, so i'm down to like my best-of books and my dog at this point.  with two pairs of jeans and a ramones t-shirt. 

i realize now and then that i've missed the sunday paper.  in TO the big edition is saturday, but i'm not ready for a big edition on saturdays.  i will be happy to have non-cryptogram crosswords.  i will be slightly relieved that everything isn't in 2 languages, because on shelves i get mixed up as to what *exactly* i'm looking for.  Is that soap or oatmeal. 

i will miss this city.   that i live close enough to the line that i can hear the streetcar all night.  how close all the buildings are together, that in one cafe i can hear 20 languages.  i will miss walking to the market (which i've now done for a very long time, combining l.a. and TO.)  kensington and your cheese shops, i promise i'll visit.   i will also miss the US-from outside perspective.  but i will seek it. 

i'll probably be off until next tues. when our new place gets dsl.  there's dial up avail, but that means no phone, so if i'm posting at the stranger hours, this is why.   today is mostly pack and sleep day.  tomorrow we go face the border crossing with a pitbull, 9 computers and a british passport.  (that's the otherh.) 
send luck if you have it to spare.   

Buying this guy a drink

Hooray for soldiers bucking groupthink!!!!

Hinzman, 27, left his U.S. Army unit in 2004 to avoid service in Iraq. He fled to Canada with his wife and young son.
He applied for refugee status, arguing that the U.S. invasion of Iraq violated international human rights and was illegal.

Canada's immigration panel wasn't so sure he's much of a refugee.  fortunately, he's all lawyered-up.

While Hinzman does oppose the war in Iraq, he is not a conscientious objector or pacifist, ruled the board.
His lawyer, Jeffry House, says he will argue that the immigration board made an error by refusing to hear expert evidence on the legality of the war.
House says he'll also argue that international law allows people to object to specific wars, while U.S. law does not.
"Where you cannot object in the U.S. to a specific war, no matter what its character, American law is underinclusive compared to international law," said House.
"International law makes it very clear you can object to a specific war if it is sufficiently atrocious."

Hell, i'll buy his lawyer a drink.   Unfortunately, i can't cover the tab for these:

Hinzman is believed to be the first American soldier to have fled to Canada because of the Iraq war, but it's believed dozens may be in the country.
" I'm aware of about 20 active refugee claims," said House. "I believe there's another 150 to 180 others who are waiting to see what the outcome is here."

I simply don't have that sort of fundage.   but if i did, i'd share. 

best of luck, mr hinzman. 

oh, and btw, this is a Global Test, to all those naysayers out there. 

 

Phobic.

i am rarely paralysed by fear.  in fact, i like to believe i look at fearful things and laugh- LAUGH- at them.  One arena in which this does not, will not, and cannot apply is me driving over a bridge.

when i first came to canada to work, i got stuck at one end of a bridge and my partner, who is english though landed in canada, got stuck at the other.  it was the Ambassador bridge, of all places.  and while i could easily turn around and go back to detroit (sigh), the otherh basically had to make a (loud, loud) case that the queen should be called to get him unstuck.  this was persuasive.  we got across eventually.

so.  driving over that fucker gave me about the worst panic attack i've had since i realized who was going to be president no matter what (circa 2000). 

i simply don't do bridges very well.  overpasses i can mostly manage with no stress and no pharmaceuticals, but not so on the bridge thing. 

today i drove from TO to buffalo.  i was forewarned that there was a bridge to the US side. one bridge.  three hours in advance.  i could do it, eyes on the road.

There were three.  the big momma of them was of course the royally inaptly named peace bridge.  here is some of how it looks from different places, angles, and omgs.

this is not innocuous: it is a bridge.  i don't give a shit about symbolism, it's a hunk of weight over water.

 

  the idea still shivery frightens me. it's not rational, it's just phobia. 

 

here's another view, not the one i had

  isn't this a little bit "wow, maybe there's a point here"?

 

and then there was buffalo.

on the canada side they give you about 50KM to get ready to traverse a bridge.  it's like they can't wait to get people out of the country.  "Bridges to USA" signs abound, starting about hamilton.  (a hike from the border itself.)

and buffalo gives me a sign ontop of the exit:

    (the one on the right says "peace bridge, ft erie can" but it doesn't say "GO TO CANADA- THIS EXIT).  reading + driving = me lost in buffalo looking for the right u-turn.  i had to pee so badly i took a leak in an empty parking lot next to a service station with no working washroom. 

and this is me (no it isn't) following the very horrifying bridges experience (in total there were 6 fucking bridges, all over water, for me to get the fuck over (which i did albeit very unhappily)
so, right.  mad props to a.human, btw, for this pic

actually doesn't look like me at all, come to think of it.  i was more like a soggy piece of french toast.

And all of this is notwithstanding how differently the border patrol treated us (driving girlfriend to buffalo for a flight one way and "why the hell are you driving a canadian car" the other way.)  needless to say, we caught the most shit from the U.S. side, despite being citizens carrying next to nothing.  i think it's because my girlfriend told the first border guard not to steal her vibrators. 

Note: do not make funnies with border patrol.   your car will get combed through by jovial but serious people.  i don't need to re-explain to anyone again in my life why i have condoms, coffee cups, old wallets and 900cds.  not to mention i don't like the question, "Are you packing any knives?"  HUH?  No, i have a girlfriend and a desire to go to the duty free shop.

oh i've so gone chatterboxly on this one.   i have more news, but i'm going to sit on it for a day. 

compare how well you transport

i have had a long-standing romance with public transpo. this is not in small part to do with having no car in los angeles and desiring to see both beaches and the MOCA on the same day.
L.A., without thinking about it anymore, is only in existence at the magnitude it is because of the boom in the 1950s of autos. suddenly, everyman had a car. l.a. probably has more cars than it has drivers, but i'm not stating that as fact.
in toronto, i've lived on pretty good main drags: close to busses, streetcars, subways. the difference in getting around this city and getting around l.a. can be either vast or simple. for instance, walking in winter in TO can be life-threatening (snot freezing, hands brittle, arthritis a-workin') but it seems this winter i've done more walking than last. (of course it's only been -30c once or twice this year). it would seem at first more expensive to hit a bus/streetcar/subway combo, but you can get from one end of the city to the other on one transfer, and you don't have to buy a transfer at that. los angeles: quite undeveloped in this aspect. perhaps it's because l.a. doesn't want to admit that it could really improve in this arena and take on yet another mantle of a world-city, or maybe it unbecomingly wants to perpetuate the class divide between the drivers and not-drivers. (and there is one). Comparatively, for way more service in TO you'd pay nearly the same for a monthly pass (cdn $ for US) as you would in los angeles. wait. i have that wrong. los angeles costs significantly more.
i've already waxed annoyed at driving in TO, which is likely why i've opted more and more to jump on a streetcar or walk. (and then there's the taxi thing, but that's really very silly of me).
i have learned how to jaywalk with the most faked arrogance i can muster. i think jaywalking must come with this, as most people do it in front of cops, streetcars, MACK trucks and the 6 o'clock rush on fridays.
i'm very interested to live elsewheres in the world, aside from North America. on my list is amsterdam, city of not very many cars and taxi bicycles.
it's one of those concepts, transportation, that get me thinking about what defines a city, and why and whether those kinds of things are more becoming the hallmark of "civilization" as opposed to political intrigues and standing armies. but that's for a thesis. or some other essay.
by categorically, systemically reducing a population's dependence on un-renewable energy, there is machinations toward actually functioning anarchies. and this i think is a better solution than playing favourites all over the world...

Poliical Science?

Lookie what scientist are doing, innovating and stuff.  Just think what would happen if anyone besides us gave a ripe shit.

Algorithm detects Canadian politicians' spin
With the most fiercely fought Canadian election in more than a decade taking place on Monday, the crossfire of political rhetoric between the incumbent prime minister and his Conservative Party challenger is becoming heated – but which one is more trustworthy?
According to a new computer algorithm, Prime Minister Paul Martin, of the Liberal Party, spins the subject matter of his speeches dramatically more than Conservative Party leader, Stephen Harper, and the New Democratic Party leader, Jack Layton.
Spin, in this case, is defined as “text or speech where the apparent meaning is not the true belief of the person saying or writing it”, says the algorithm’s developer, David Skillicorn at Queen’s University in Ontario, Canada.

I thought spin was the name of the game.  in this case, Martin should smell only victory....

“The guy who’s doing the most tap-dancing is the guy who’s under the spotlight,” said John Wright, senior vice president of the polling company Ipsos Reid. “The pressure is going to show.”

I like this line the best.  Wow, i'm blitzed.  just shot, crapped out, exhausted, wired and the whole nine yards.

                                                    

Skillicorn decided to apply the technique to the presidential speeches after using it to investigate the text of emails sent between Enron Corporation executives before the company’s infamous bankruptcy in 2001.
He admits that the algorithm is still a work in progress, but “with this much of a difference, I think the results are still pretty clear”. (emphasis mine).

There's two things about this.  everything a person does is in some form or another crowded into by bias.  "i love frogs so i want to study them."  or "I hate politics so i'm going to algorithmify (?) speeches"  see?

It hurts to admit it, but this is what drives me in my studies in history.  I want to understand more, more more and be better better better at understanding.  But it's always biased.  Coming from the point of view i have on war/armed forces, i study wars and armies as a function of statehood.  Not because i think it's good/right/moral (ha)/etc.  but because i think in a post modern, post industrial world, there should be fuck all need for a standing army in the definition of a state.  Which is why this science, while amusing, doesn't matter.  People will vote for someone based on a gd tie colour, where they're born, who they know, all that shit.  has blissfully nothing to do with truth.  truth, ah, another blog.

Reducks: Totally forgot the linky: HERE

Just in time for me to leave

it seems we're heading south of the border, sojourning to texas, in time for the conservative party to take over the leadership of canada. 

The Conservative Party has an 18-point lead over the Liberals in a new poll, giving them 42 per cent support nationally and setting possibly setting the stage for a major electoral shift.

This is only a poll, obviously, and they don't necessarily predict the future, and we are moving to *sigh* texas.

The worst part is that we must leave the dog behind.  i cried for a full hour tonight, and i expect to do more of this.

Update:  Wait! She's coming with! YAY. 

Finally...

Yay!  I got to do it again!  the driver was chatty, and i tipped way too much, but i did it.

Wherein the author discovers Torontonians are wussy.

So, i'd posted mostly this before, but it went all to ether-ville.  i will attempt to recapture the intention.

Yesterday it was 8 giant sunny degrees in TO.  in L.A., my former place of residence, it was 6 degrees at the same time.  which would make me think it might get warmer than 6 at some point in l.a., but TO was, at that moment, warmer than los angeles.  weird, considering how i'd been warned about temperatures in winter and the likelihood of my snot freezing.  it is, after all, mid-January.

i had a loooong trek via every conceivable form of public transpo home from the hospital.  (it was rather far away.)  as i finally looked up while on the last leg of said trek (which was on a streetcar), i began to worry.  People were in their gloves & hats and scarves and were buttoned all the way up.  i don't wear scarves and gloves unless it's like -10.  Had the temperature dropped while i'd been in transit?  all i had for protection from the elements was a fuzzy warm scarf and a rather thin sweater.  (thanks to isobel for the scarf).  would i be able to walk home (all of 2 blocks) in just what i had on? 

I got off the streetcar and realized that people in TO must not be capable of dressing for anything other than  winter in the middle of january.  it was still at least 6, if not 8.  Those angelenos suffering in the grim cold of their 6 degrees weren't wearing heavy overcoats and boots and gloves and hats etc.  They were, alas, probably wearing a scarf with a not-too-thick sweater.  The poor suffering souls. 

wait, this happened??

the patriots were in the playoffs? 
i feel like such a bad fan.  here's some cheery news:

they won their first playoff game.  YAY.  Routing the Jags 28-3 with a good second half (i've been reading up), the pats pulled off a big win.  of course, all the questions abound about how they'll do against teams that beat them in regular season, but i agree that this is their "time of year" (wherever i found that).  Here are two links to good patriots coverage and reviews.  off to the right in my list o' links you can find their homepage. 

if i wasn't mired in this ridiculous depression (it's getting ridiculous, really, i give myself no leeway for having manic-depression), i probably could've found the game.  or known it was fucking going on.  alas.  at least i got to read about it.